1 year old

At this exact moment last year {down to the minute} one year ago today, you were born. You were brought into this world, took your very first amazing breath. I held you in my arms. I cried. My heart has never felt so full. Even thinking about that moment 1 year later takes my breath away, makes my knees weak, makes me cry.

After all the preparation, anticipation, excitement and fear. You were finally here. A miracle right here in my arms. So tiny. So dependent on me. I was responsible for every little detail about you and I was so overwhelmed. I was so happy. I was so nervous. And I was so ecstatic to learn everything.

Well through MANY MANY MANY sleepless nights. Gas pains. Constipation. Eating. Teething. Vaccinations. Colds. Crying. Screaming. Separation anxiety. Eczema. Nannies. And every other battle we shared for the last 365 days. I got everything I had anticipated and more. I sit here and look back on it all and wonder how in the hell we survived. How did we make it? We learned everything we ever could about you. That you like love breakfast sausage and you would eat it at every.single.meal if I let you. That at 5 months you were NOT too young for a sippy cup. too young to introduce table foods {thanks to Aunt Coley}. I learned that you are the type of baby that just needs a few extra minutes to warm up and that you would prefer me be beside you in this process. I learned that you love to sing. That you do things when you are ready and how you want to do them when you are ready. I learned that there is absolutely nothing better in this whole entire world than me or your dada. You taught me so much. I witnessed an angel sleeping, I witnessed an angel jumping in her jumperoo. I witnessed that same angel start crawling and just yesterday pull up on the couch and stand and drink out of that same sippy that I was in such denial about only a few short months ago. When I look at you, my heart melts or shatters into pieces, I can't tell which one. {especially when you call mmmmmmamamamama}

I remember my mom always telling my brother and I that no matter what we will always be her babies. It used to infuriate me. I was NOT a baby. I was a teenager for crying out loud. I knew everything. Well mom {I know you read this} I now know what you feel like. She still doesn't look much different to me than the day she was born. I still consider her my little baby. I still feel like she needs me for everything and it's a constant battle to let her wander around without me, cause well....she needs me. right? Well Lyla. You will always be my baby. and mom {Nona} I will always be your baby.

Words will never be able to describe my love for you Lyla. To want it all for you, yet to want nothing at all. To love you no matter what. To fear everything for you yet to want you to not have a fear in the world

As much as I have learned from you in the last year, I know you have learned from us. I could go on and on about how special you are. About how much I adore you. And about how you are pretty much the coolest thing in the world in your dada and my eyes. But there isn't enough room in all of this interweb thinger. So just know. We love you. More than life its self.

Happy first birthday my little baby girl.