Deep Dark Confession....

of a full time working mother with a day off......

I'm writing this on Thursday afternoon while plotting out my adventures on my day off on Friday. I'm still taking Lyla to daycare. Don't judge me, until I tell you why.....Do you want to know why?

a. because I can.
b. because she loves it there.
c. because I can.
d. because do you have any flipping idea how long it has been since I have been husband and kid free? at home. alone.

16 months.

It has been 16 months that my house has gone with out a good old fashion scrub. 16 months since I have been able to go to the grocery store sans baby and/or husband.

I am going to CLEAN. I can hardly wait to feel the scrub brush in my hand, the smell of BLEACH all over them. Some splashes of said bleach, forever staining some beat up nasty shirt.

I'm going to the grocery store. With NO time schedule of when to be done. I'm going to park wherever I want to in the parking lot, not next to the cart slot to make it easier with a baby. I'm going to roam all the aisles and pick out my fruit wisely, squeezing each and every one to make sure it's good. Then? I'm going to put each and every item away in a slow, calm and orderly fashion.

I'm going to The Gap. I'm going to Sams. I'm going to run whatever errands I want to! With no worries about lugging Lyla into the car, strapping her in, unstrapping her, getting her out ... (for you Delia) deciding if the cart is clean enough...or if I need to use the cart cover, or use one of those sanitizer wipes to wipe it clean.

I'm going to crack open a diet coke and scrub and clean and clean and clean some more. And when I turn around, not a single thing will be laying on the floor. No toys ripped back out after neatly putting them away. No milk splashed on my nice clean floor. No finger prints and nose smudges on my nice clean windows.

There will be order. Organization. Cleanliness.

Then my house will look just ridiculously and unacceptably clean, so....I'll  go pick Lyla up early. And all of it will be destroyed again, within minutes. And I will love every.single second of all of it. And find my comfort and peace in the dirt, mess and chaos of having a beautiful bouncing baby girl {oops, I mean toddler}

Happy Friday!