Well it's Monday

And somehow it feels like I missed the last two weeks because J is back on 11-7. SIGH. And here we go again.....

However, we are experimenting this week. We are bringing the sitter in for a few hours each day in hopes that J will be able to get a few more hours of sleep, in turn, making our lives a little easier. BOTH of your lives.

So here is to hoping ... right? {cheers}

Last week was a rough one. I mean ROUGH. With all the nanny drama going on {yes that is all I'm typing on this public blog about it} and Lyla teething and just the regular old thing called life, I had had enough of it. By Friday I was ready to throw in the towel, put my hands up and just go ahead, stick that fork in me - that is how done I was. Wine didn't even sound appealing {although I did try that on Friday and Saturday}.

I couldn't and wouldn't stop beating myself up about not being a stay at home mom. Wondering and just beating myself up about if I made the right decision with the nanny {sitter}. Maybe I should have done daycare. Maybe I should have interviewed more people. And then, Saturday, like a ton of bricks it hit me. I did the right thing. Regardless of all of the drama and stress and ridiculousness of the service, we made the right decision. Lyla is at home, with her dada {most of the time}. She is loved, treated extremely well and she loves her life. She is happy, healthy and thriving everyday. So what was I beating myself up about? Nothing is perfect in this world. And as a parent I realized more than ever that life is certainly not easy. But you have to do the best you can. You have to believe and have faith that you are doing the best you can. And when things get bad and I feel like I did on Friday - I HAVE to tell myself and remind myself that Lyla is happy, Lyla is loved and Lyla is healthy as can be. And for this I am so grateful. A smile from my daughter when I walk in the house after a long day at work and nothing else seems to matter. When my husband looks at me - REALLY looks at me and tells me he loves me, nothing else matters. My life is everything I ever wanted and dreamt it would be, and more.

I am done beating myself up. I am done stressing about things I can't change. I am done looking at the negative.

I am done......being done.

And some pictures????  NOPE no pictures today. Because that guy up there ^ I was talking about, you know...my husband...well HE went out and bought mama a little surprise on Saturday. A brand spankin new Nikon Digital SLR 3100 Camera. Holla. {Picture me raising the roof right now, dancing around my cubicle}.

So, I spent most of my weekend behind it snapping away. Letting myself go. Maybe that is what calmed me? What made me realize. What made me appreicate. Because nothing makes me feel as good as letting go, being creative and getting that sensation that takes over your body... I love my new therapy.

So today, in honor of the death of my point and shoot and the new life of my DSLR camera...I have a video from my iphone. Turn up your volume and listen to our little princess talk! This is what I am blessed to wake up to every.single.morning of my life. Well, most mornings...as long as she isn't grumpy!

Disclaimer: Do not mind my creepy dada voice, I had just woke up. Also, the bedroom was dark that is why nothing is showing....so just listen.